So I have totally slacked in the blog realm. Oh well, such is life.
In September we successfully completed the Grape Day 5k. We were both excited that we completed it, ran the whole way, and kept the same pace for the entire race. But man was it hard to get passed by runner after runner. Dan did a great job motivating me and reminding me that it was OUR race and only OUR race. The hardest part was getting passed by moms with double strollers pushing their kids. Despite all that, we made it! At that point that distance was the longest I had ever run non stop - 3.1 miles.
With the 5k in the bag we set our sights on our 10k. Dan thought it would be fun to run the 10k on Thanksgiving while we were visiting our family for the holiday. He found a 10k in Mesa Arizona. I was a little nervous doing this particular race since it was listed as a "competitive" 10k. We got our butts kicked in a small Escondido 5k, what would happen in a "competitive" 10k? But, that was the only 10k that we could find in the area so Dan signed us up for it.
The day before Thanksgiving we piled into the car with Dan's dad and drove to Arizona. After getting checked into our hotel, we headed out to pick up our race numbers and t-shirts. We then drove to where the race started so that we knew where to go and how long it would take to get there.
After getting a good night's rest we headed down to get omelets for breakfast (the perks of Embassy Suites) so that we would have fuel for the run. We got to the race site and there were TONS of people. There were two smaller (1 and 2 mile) fun family runs that occurred before the 10k so there were lots of people.
We had about 25 minutes before the race and figured that would give us enough time to use the restroom and get warmed up. At the starting line we spotted the porta-potties, but to our surprise there were only 3. There were thousands of people and only THREE porta-potties. Whose genius idea in planning was that? Dan asked the announcer if there were more some place else and he said that there were more in the park. We had no idea where the park was or how long it would take to get there so in the end we decided to wait in line - HUGE line.
I knew that there was no way that I could run without using the restroom so I waited in line. As time went on I grew increasingly nervous. What if we drove all the way to Arizona to run a 10k and ended up missing it because we had to use the restroom? How ridiculous would that be?!?! The only part saving me was that we were not at the end of the line, there were about 15 people behind us.
Eventually, while we were still in line, the race started. Frustrated. Upset. Worried. We continued to wait. After about 5 minutes the announcer said that the runners would be going through the starting line and they would have to disconnect the timing system before they got there and if we want a time we need to go through the starting line in the next 5 minutes. As he is saying that we make it to the front of the line and are able to use the restroom.
We are relieved in more than one way that we are finally able to start our race. Since we were just about at the end of the restroom line when we started the race we were like the only people on the course at the start. While it was a little weird to be alone on the course it reminded me of our training runs when we were all by ourselves. This truly was "Our Race."
Eventually we began to do something that we did not do in the Grape Day 5k - we began to pass people. At the 5k Dan was pumped and so we started pretty close to the staring line. With that we were passed by a majority of the people in the race. That part was pretty disheartening. But it was a completely different race in the 10k. We started at the end and so we were able to pass people. Even though it was people who were walking, it was extremely motivating to pass people almost the entire race. Our pace was just about the same as the 5k, but being able to pass people instead of being passed does something for the spirit and definitely encouraged us along our run.
Another thing that we did differently this race and differently from our training runs was to change the music we were listening to. During the 5k and many of our training runs we just talked and had no music. While I love my husband to death, and love to be with him, not having any music or entertainment made the runs quite tedious. Dan eventually got the idea of listening to music. He has a micro SD card with music on it in his phone, so we began to listen to that as we ran. But, the music was his music. Reggae was not much better for me that silence. So still the runs were tedious. However, the night before the 10k Dan had me pick music to put onto the card for the race. This time we were listening to my music. The music made me want to dance and kept my spirits and speed up.
The course had mile markers and soon we passed mile 1 and despite a rocky start of wondering if we were going to make the race, we made it 1 mile and were trekking along. At this point we both were a little uneasy in our tummies, but we were feeling good in our legs and were making the race. Next came mile 2 and a short water break. While the water was refreshing it began to slosh around and I could hear it giggling in my tummy. Then we ran and ran and saw no mile 3. We began to get quite worried. Mile 2-3 went on and on FOREVER! Then we saw a sign for the next mile. But how could it be only mile 3? However, it was not! It was mile 4! There was no mile 3 marker. That was such a huge boost. We were now over half way done. At this point I think we picked up our pace and were running strong. The end was in sight and we knew we could do it.
And eventually we did. After 1 hour, 6 minutes and 21 seconds, holding hands as we crossed the finish line, we completed the race. The best part of the race was having my Dan by my side. Together as a team we can accomplish anything.
Yay for Team Windham!
Saturday, December 7, 2013
Friday, October 25, 2013
If today was not a DRILL I would be DEAD...
...as would most of the students in my class.
Even as I type this the gravity of the situation still gets me all worked up; hands shaking, pulse raising and on the verge of tears. So hear is how it all went down...
Shortly after the bell for second period to be over rang I was walking towards a student I wanted to speak to. This student just enrolled in my class after having a checkered past. He has been quite polite, done all of his homework, and even volunteered to put problems on the board. I just wanted to encourage him to keep it up, and tell him that I was impressed with his hard work thus far. As I am walking to him one of our School Resource Officers (SRO, a police officer that we have on campus), and a counselor that we have on campus from an off campus agency came storming into my room yelling at the students to get out of the way/get out of the room, and were walking over to that student. Bad teacher thought confession: my thought was "oh no, really, he was doing so good, what happened," have faith teacher! They were walking in his direction because they wanted to get to me, who happened to be next to him.
The SRO hands me a folded up piece of paper and says "this is what you just saw, what do you do?"
I had talked to our administrator in charge of lockdown drills about when we would have a lockdown. He said that it was still going to happen and that he heard that they have been going to teachers to have them call the drill. I asked what to do, he said to call the office and report what happened. I asked about calling 911, he said the office would.
So I briefly scan the paper and see the word "SHOOTING." As a result of the conversation and seeing that word I know that I need to get to my phone to call the office. I think "Lockdown, that means hide under the desk and get concealed in the room." With that knowledge I tell the students, to get in the room, don't go anywhere. My reflections on whether that was the right move later.
I run to my office door to get to my phone. Every step of the way I have the SRO shouting in my ear "what are you doing, why are you doing that?" As I get to the door I realize that my door is locked, yeah paranoid teacher I do not want the high school students stealing my personal stuff. So I then run across the room to where my jacket it that has my keys in the coat pocket. The keys get heavy so I don't like to wear them around my neck...they hurt my neck. They were in my coat pocket, but my classroom got hot so I took it off.
As I am running across the room to where my coat is, which happens to be where my new phone is (as far as I have been informed it is not functioning yet, I will be quite upset if it is functioning, but haven't received official word that it is working), the SRO is again yelling at me "what are you doing, why are you doing that, why aren't you using that phone." As I shout that it doesn't work I reach my office door and begin to try and open it. My hands are shaking so much that it takes forever for me to get the key in the door. And yet still I have the SRO in my ear shouting "what are you doing, why are you doing that?"
I make it to my office, shaking like there is no tomorrow, I pick up my phone and dial 0 to reach the main office to share with them what is going on. But the phone just keeps ringing, and ringing, and ringing, and ringing. Holy moly so much ringing. As it keeps ringing the SRO is shouting at me
SRO: "why aren't you calling the office,"
Me "I am"
SRO: "Why aren't they picking up?"
Me: thought...how the hell should I know
SRO: "Don't you have a direct line?
Me: "I'm calling it"
All of this while the phone is ringing, and ringing, and ringing. Oh the insanity! So I decide as the phone is ringing for the front office I decide to try and call an administrator too, maybe they can get the message to the office faster than all the RINGING! I pull open the drawer that has my purse which has my phone in it. But, in order for the drawer to stay shut it must be locked...it will not open! And the RINGING that will not stop.
As I am waiting for someone to pick up at the office, I am shaking as I try to dial an administrator. I only have the numbers in my phone for two of the four administrators in my phone, the principal and one of the assistant principals. For some reason my search goes to the assistant principal's name and not the principal's. Turns out the principal was not even on campus that day so I picked the right number to call. I dialed her number as the RINGING just kept going and going. Finally, the attendance office picked.
"Attendance office how can I help." You reach the attendance office when the front office is busy and they are unable to pick up the phone. But, finally the RINGING has stopped and I can finally read the scenario and begin the lockdown.
Here is a paraphrase of what the scenario was. Not sure where it ended up. In the mayhem tests ended up flying all over, my jacket ended up on the floor, and honestly I have no idea where the scenario paper went.
One of my students pulled out a gun and began shooting. He ran out of the room. He is wearing Chargers attire.
I remember it being longer, but that was the gist of what it said. Ok, did my part. I run to the door and start yelling "Lockdown, get in" and usher every student I can into my room. Finally over the intercom they announce a lockdown. Then I go into my room and tell everyone to get under the tables. A student is putting up some paper that I got to conceal the windows. However, I got it to cut in half to cover both windows. But, I never got around to cutting it, and by the time I realize that it is not cut and I have nothing for the other window the paper is up and there is definitely not enough time to cut it in half. Ok, I can do this, I can get the window covered. I pull out the trash bag from the trash can and try to hang that. Yeah, no. I then have some papers, but individual 8 1/2 by 11 sheets of papers are not going to do the trick. Looking at my room I hope for the best and where the students are you do not really have a direct line of sight to them, so hopefully it will be ok.
Heart still pounding I instruct the kids to get under their tables and remind them to be quite. Now finally the situation begins to sink in. Even though I still have a room full of kids, the emotions begin to take over. I e-mailed the administrator in charge of lockdowns asking if I could be part of the debrief. No. My heart sank even more. I ended up at the debrief, my guess is that he did not know that I was the one that called the lockdown.
I e-mailed my Dan. Since it was at the start of class he was able to e-mail me for a little bit so I could talk about the situation. I tell him what happened. I tell him what I said to the office, and tears began to well up in my eyes, as they are now as I am typing this 9 hours later. Mind you, I still have a room full of students. They are starting to get louder and I have to tell them to be silent. They begin to notice that I might be crying, and are talking about it on the sly. Through this I am talking to Dan. He is trying to calm me down, while being upset that they are putting me through this.
Finally, salvation, the lockdown is over. I turn on my PowerPoint for the next class, open my door and head to a teacher who I think has off the next period. No such luck. I quickly tell her what happened and another teacher comes in and I share with her too. That second teacher that comes in mentions that she has all the lockdown procedures and asks if I want her to print them out. I say sure, but all I can think is that I know the procedures, I have written the procedures before (when I was the Dean at the middle school a few years ago I was in charge of the safety plan).
Then I get back to my class and try to start it. As I am doing that a student asks why I got all upset, because it was just a drill after all. I then ask them if they want to know why I got so upset. They said yes. I explained how I got the paper with the situation, and what it said, and just keep saying how scary that would be. I ask them to imagine what it would be like if it wasn't a drill and there really was a person running through our room shooting. As I am tearing up, yet again, I look up and notice there is a security guard in the room and ask him to watch my room.
I then begin to walk down the hall. Where to, I have no idea. All I know is that I can not be in my room in front of my students right now. I think to call Dan, but realize my phone is in my class. Man, not my day. So I keep walking. Students I have this year, and had last year are passing me in the hall and say hi. I can't say anything to them because I am starting to cry. AGAIN. I then decide a course of action, I will find a math teacher who has off during this period and teach my lesson and I will debrief with the administration. If they can't make it happen I will. I walk up and down the halls, and up and down three flights of stairs and every teacher had students.
As I walk to the first floor I see the Aide I have that period walking in. I ask him for a favor to watch the class and try and run the lesson. We go into the room, I show him what needs to be done, tell the students that I will be checking homework on Monday and as I am saying that an assistant principal comes in and says they need me for the debrief. I knew they would, and I definitely needed it. When I was the Dean at a local middle school I went through a few debriefings of lockdown drills, therefore I knew who would be there; several police officers, all the administrators, security, head custodian, head of security from the district...the whole team.
Doing it before we all walked in together and sat to debrief the meeting. But this time, they are all in there as I walk in and stare at me. I then look over at the two people who came in and gave me the situation and started it all, I tell them this is probably one of the scariest things I have seen at school. They then ask what happened and I shared the story of what happened. Not as much detail, but the story that you heard. The SRO and the counselor guy (he was the one that picked my room, thanks guy), said several times that I did fine, I did what I was supposed to. Ok, I didn't totally blow it. I didn't screw it up completely. That made me feel a little better, but still, thinking about the situation if it was real, wow. I made it through, but what would I do if there really was a student shooting in my room?
After the debrief I headed back to my classroom. Still a teacher, still have to teach my lesson. The students are not doing much, and are upset that I come back and they don't get free time anymore. I make it a quick lesson, I only have 8 minutes, and try to get through the lesson. The next two classes I don't have much energy to get through and teach the lesson.
I want to teach, but all I can think of is "what if this was real, I would be dead, my students would be dead, did I do it right?" The goal they had was for us to call the office so we could be put on lockdown, but thinking about it, if there was a shooter in my room would I really tell my students to come back in? Would I really call the office first or try to talk to the student and keep the others first before calling the office? All these thoughts are running through my head during the last 2 periods of the day and I try to be a good teacher, but I just feel like I am in a fog. What if this was real?
Through the rest of the day several people said things that were encouraging:
-The counselor that picked me to call the lockdown drill said that I should be proud of myself for making it through, because at another school a teacher just gives up and calls it quits during the scenario. I made it through. Shaking, tearing up and all.
-One of the teachers I talked to initially after the drill was over said she was glad she wasn't picked because she would have freaked out. Yeah, I did. Then later after she looked to give me the lockdown procedures of what to do in this situation, then realized that that there are no directions for what to do in that situation. Yeah, I know. She then told me that if anything went wrong it should be the administration's fault because they didn't prepare us. My thoughts exactly, but for the future what do I do?
-The teacher in the hall across from me said they were talking about who to pick and decided to pick me because they thought I could handle it.
I guess I handled it, but did I really handle it correctly? That question keeps running circles in my brain. Did I really do the right thing? If a student was shooting in my room, don't you think they would probably shoot at the teacher first? So if this was real I would not be sitting here. I would be dead right now.
For most of my teaching career I have lead students through a lockdown drill. I have even seen from the police department the riot gear they would wear on campus in the even of a real lock down. I have seen students with weapons on campus, and have used the (non deadly) weapons on campus (yes during a lock down... the PR after that was fun). We have even had lockdowns at the school I am at as a result of OUTSIDE community actions, yeah the school backs up to some gang territory, but this was the most emotional of all the experiences. The situation was thrown in my face. It was reality. A student wearing Chargers attire was shooting in my classroom. If it was real, I and some of my students would probably be dead. That is such a sobering thought.
Yes, I know this was a drill, but being through this I feel so much more for all the people involved in these events. My situation was over once the "All CLEAR" was called, but their situation was not. My situation was not real, but what if it had been? What if there really was a shooter in my classroom? I would probably be dead, several of my students would probably be dead, and that is all I can think about. In talking with the counselor who came into my room to have me call the lockdown, said that this was just a drill to teach people what to do in the event that it really happened.
In high school we had bomb threat drills, we would evacuate...would that really be the safest in a bomb threat, but that is neither here nor there. In actual life and death situations there was the Columbine shooting, Santana shooting, and Sandy Hook shootings to name a few. And close to home, there was an elementary school that had an outside person came on to campus. There were no casualties, however a few students were wounded.
All this shows that it could happen. A student could run through my room shooting with a gun. Luckily for me this was just a drill and an actual shooting like at those schools. I have practiced many drills in my tenure of teaching, and it has been nothing more than a hoop to jump through. But this made it real. I could be dead. Many of my students could be dead. I just keep thinking what if this was real, what would I have done. It is so hard since any choice you make could have life or death consequences. I could help to save my students or I could cause their demise. That is what is getting me. If I make the wrong call I could be the cause of many of my students dying. I can't even type that without crying. And in reality, while it has not happened on campus (only near campus), these past shootings show that it could happen.
I think that is it for now. I hope at the end of reading this you can give teachers a little more grace. We go into this profession to teach the future, little do we know that we may be having to save it.
Even as I type this the gravity of the situation still gets me all worked up; hands shaking, pulse raising and on the verge of tears. So hear is how it all went down...
Shortly after the bell for second period to be over rang I was walking towards a student I wanted to speak to. This student just enrolled in my class after having a checkered past. He has been quite polite, done all of his homework, and even volunteered to put problems on the board. I just wanted to encourage him to keep it up, and tell him that I was impressed with his hard work thus far. As I am walking to him one of our School Resource Officers (SRO, a police officer that we have on campus), and a counselor that we have on campus from an off campus agency came storming into my room yelling at the students to get out of the way/get out of the room, and were walking over to that student. Bad teacher thought confession: my thought was "oh no, really, he was doing so good, what happened," have faith teacher! They were walking in his direction because they wanted to get to me, who happened to be next to him.
The SRO hands me a folded up piece of paper and says "this is what you just saw, what do you do?"
I had talked to our administrator in charge of lockdown drills about when we would have a lockdown. He said that it was still going to happen and that he heard that they have been going to teachers to have them call the drill. I asked what to do, he said to call the office and report what happened. I asked about calling 911, he said the office would.
So I briefly scan the paper and see the word "SHOOTING." As a result of the conversation and seeing that word I know that I need to get to my phone to call the office. I think "Lockdown, that means hide under the desk and get concealed in the room." With that knowledge I tell the students, to get in the room, don't go anywhere. My reflections on whether that was the right move later.
I run to my office door to get to my phone. Every step of the way I have the SRO shouting in my ear "what are you doing, why are you doing that?" As I get to the door I realize that my door is locked, yeah paranoid teacher I do not want the high school students stealing my personal stuff. So I then run across the room to where my jacket it that has my keys in the coat pocket. The keys get heavy so I don't like to wear them around my neck...they hurt my neck. They were in my coat pocket, but my classroom got hot so I took it off.
As I am running across the room to where my coat is, which happens to be where my new phone is (as far as I have been informed it is not functioning yet, I will be quite upset if it is functioning, but haven't received official word that it is working), the SRO is again yelling at me "what are you doing, why are you doing that, why aren't you using that phone." As I shout that it doesn't work I reach my office door and begin to try and open it. My hands are shaking so much that it takes forever for me to get the key in the door. And yet still I have the SRO in my ear shouting "what are you doing, why are you doing that?"
I make it to my office, shaking like there is no tomorrow, I pick up my phone and dial 0 to reach the main office to share with them what is going on. But the phone just keeps ringing, and ringing, and ringing, and ringing. Holy moly so much ringing. As it keeps ringing the SRO is shouting at me
SRO: "why aren't you calling the office,"
Me "I am"
SRO: "Why aren't they picking up?"
Me: thought...how the hell should I know
SRO: "Don't you have a direct line?
Me: "I'm calling it"
All of this while the phone is ringing, and ringing, and ringing. Oh the insanity! So I decide as the phone is ringing for the front office I decide to try and call an administrator too, maybe they can get the message to the office faster than all the RINGING! I pull open the drawer that has my purse which has my phone in it. But, in order for the drawer to stay shut it must be locked...it will not open! And the RINGING that will not stop.
As I am waiting for someone to pick up at the office, I am shaking as I try to dial an administrator. I only have the numbers in my phone for two of the four administrators in my phone, the principal and one of the assistant principals. For some reason my search goes to the assistant principal's name and not the principal's. Turns out the principal was not even on campus that day so I picked the right number to call. I dialed her number as the RINGING just kept going and going. Finally, the attendance office picked.
"Attendance office how can I help." You reach the attendance office when the front office is busy and they are unable to pick up the phone. But, finally the RINGING has stopped and I can finally read the scenario and begin the lockdown.
Here is a paraphrase of what the scenario was. Not sure where it ended up. In the mayhem tests ended up flying all over, my jacket ended up on the floor, and honestly I have no idea where the scenario paper went.
One of my students pulled out a gun and began shooting. He ran out of the room. He is wearing Chargers attire.
I remember it being longer, but that was the gist of what it said. Ok, did my part. I run to the door and start yelling "Lockdown, get in" and usher every student I can into my room. Finally over the intercom they announce a lockdown. Then I go into my room and tell everyone to get under the tables. A student is putting up some paper that I got to conceal the windows. However, I got it to cut in half to cover both windows. But, I never got around to cutting it, and by the time I realize that it is not cut and I have nothing for the other window the paper is up and there is definitely not enough time to cut it in half. Ok, I can do this, I can get the window covered. I pull out the trash bag from the trash can and try to hang that. Yeah, no. I then have some papers, but individual 8 1/2 by 11 sheets of papers are not going to do the trick. Looking at my room I hope for the best and where the students are you do not really have a direct line of sight to them, so hopefully it will be ok.
Heart still pounding I instruct the kids to get under their tables and remind them to be quite. Now finally the situation begins to sink in. Even though I still have a room full of kids, the emotions begin to take over. I e-mailed the administrator in charge of lockdowns asking if I could be part of the debrief. No. My heart sank even more. I ended up at the debrief, my guess is that he did not know that I was the one that called the lockdown.
I e-mailed my Dan. Since it was at the start of class he was able to e-mail me for a little bit so I could talk about the situation. I tell him what happened. I tell him what I said to the office, and tears began to well up in my eyes, as they are now as I am typing this 9 hours later. Mind you, I still have a room full of students. They are starting to get louder and I have to tell them to be silent. They begin to notice that I might be crying, and are talking about it on the sly. Through this I am talking to Dan. He is trying to calm me down, while being upset that they are putting me through this.
Finally, salvation, the lockdown is over. I turn on my PowerPoint for the next class, open my door and head to a teacher who I think has off the next period. No such luck. I quickly tell her what happened and another teacher comes in and I share with her too. That second teacher that comes in mentions that she has all the lockdown procedures and asks if I want her to print them out. I say sure, but all I can think is that I know the procedures, I have written the procedures before (when I was the Dean at the middle school a few years ago I was in charge of the safety plan).
Then I get back to my class and try to start it. As I am doing that a student asks why I got all upset, because it was just a drill after all. I then ask them if they want to know why I got so upset. They said yes. I explained how I got the paper with the situation, and what it said, and just keep saying how scary that would be. I ask them to imagine what it would be like if it wasn't a drill and there really was a person running through our room shooting. As I am tearing up, yet again, I look up and notice there is a security guard in the room and ask him to watch my room.
I then begin to walk down the hall. Where to, I have no idea. All I know is that I can not be in my room in front of my students right now. I think to call Dan, but realize my phone is in my class. Man, not my day. So I keep walking. Students I have this year, and had last year are passing me in the hall and say hi. I can't say anything to them because I am starting to cry. AGAIN. I then decide a course of action, I will find a math teacher who has off during this period and teach my lesson and I will debrief with the administration. If they can't make it happen I will. I walk up and down the halls, and up and down three flights of stairs and every teacher had students.
As I walk to the first floor I see the Aide I have that period walking in. I ask him for a favor to watch the class and try and run the lesson. We go into the room, I show him what needs to be done, tell the students that I will be checking homework on Monday and as I am saying that an assistant principal comes in and says they need me for the debrief. I knew they would, and I definitely needed it. When I was the Dean at a local middle school I went through a few debriefings of lockdown drills, therefore I knew who would be there; several police officers, all the administrators, security, head custodian, head of security from the district...the whole team.
Doing it before we all walked in together and sat to debrief the meeting. But this time, they are all in there as I walk in and stare at me. I then look over at the two people who came in and gave me the situation and started it all, I tell them this is probably one of the scariest things I have seen at school. They then ask what happened and I shared the story of what happened. Not as much detail, but the story that you heard. The SRO and the counselor guy (he was the one that picked my room, thanks guy), said several times that I did fine, I did what I was supposed to. Ok, I didn't totally blow it. I didn't screw it up completely. That made me feel a little better, but still, thinking about the situation if it was real, wow. I made it through, but what would I do if there really was a student shooting in my room?
After the debrief I headed back to my classroom. Still a teacher, still have to teach my lesson. The students are not doing much, and are upset that I come back and they don't get free time anymore. I make it a quick lesson, I only have 8 minutes, and try to get through the lesson. The next two classes I don't have much energy to get through and teach the lesson.
I want to teach, but all I can think of is "what if this was real, I would be dead, my students would be dead, did I do it right?" The goal they had was for us to call the office so we could be put on lockdown, but thinking about it, if there was a shooter in my room would I really tell my students to come back in? Would I really call the office first or try to talk to the student and keep the others first before calling the office? All these thoughts are running through my head during the last 2 periods of the day and I try to be a good teacher, but I just feel like I am in a fog. What if this was real?
Through the rest of the day several people said things that were encouraging:
-The counselor that picked me to call the lockdown drill said that I should be proud of myself for making it through, because at another school a teacher just gives up and calls it quits during the scenario. I made it through. Shaking, tearing up and all.
-One of the teachers I talked to initially after the drill was over said she was glad she wasn't picked because she would have freaked out. Yeah, I did. Then later after she looked to give me the lockdown procedures of what to do in this situation, then realized that that there are no directions for what to do in that situation. Yeah, I know. She then told me that if anything went wrong it should be the administration's fault because they didn't prepare us. My thoughts exactly, but for the future what do I do?
-The teacher in the hall across from me said they were talking about who to pick and decided to pick me because they thought I could handle it.
I guess I handled it, but did I really handle it correctly? That question keeps running circles in my brain. Did I really do the right thing? If a student was shooting in my room, don't you think they would probably shoot at the teacher first? So if this was real I would not be sitting here. I would be dead right now.
For most of my teaching career I have lead students through a lockdown drill. I have even seen from the police department the riot gear they would wear on campus in the even of a real lock down. I have seen students with weapons on campus, and have used the (non deadly) weapons on campus (yes during a lock down... the PR after that was fun). We have even had lockdowns at the school I am at as a result of OUTSIDE community actions, yeah the school backs up to some gang territory, but this was the most emotional of all the experiences. The situation was thrown in my face. It was reality. A student wearing Chargers attire was shooting in my classroom. If it was real, I and some of my students would probably be dead. That is such a sobering thought.
Yes, I know this was a drill, but being through this I feel so much more for all the people involved in these events. My situation was over once the "All CLEAR" was called, but their situation was not. My situation was not real, but what if it had been? What if there really was a shooter in my classroom? I would probably be dead, several of my students would probably be dead, and that is all I can think about. In talking with the counselor who came into my room to have me call the lockdown, said that this was just a drill to teach people what to do in the event that it really happened.
In high school we had bomb threat drills, we would evacuate...would that really be the safest in a bomb threat, but that is neither here nor there. In actual life and death situations there was the Columbine shooting, Santana shooting, and Sandy Hook shootings to name a few. And close to home, there was an elementary school that had an outside person came on to campus. There were no casualties, however a few students were wounded.
All this shows that it could happen. A student could run through my room shooting with a gun. Luckily for me this was just a drill and an actual shooting like at those schools. I have practiced many drills in my tenure of teaching, and it has been nothing more than a hoop to jump through. But this made it real. I could be dead. Many of my students could be dead. I just keep thinking what if this was real, what would I have done. It is so hard since any choice you make could have life or death consequences. I could help to save my students or I could cause their demise. That is what is getting me. If I make the wrong call I could be the cause of many of my students dying. I can't even type that without crying. And in reality, while it has not happened on campus (only near campus), these past shootings show that it could happen.
I think that is it for now. I hope at the end of reading this you can give teachers a little more grace. We go into this profession to teach the future, little do we know that we may be having to save it.
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
New Kicks!
We are about a week and a half out from our first race, the Grape Day 5k. Our training has been going pretty good so far except for my feet. The first few times I ran I got blisters on my big toes, nothing really too painful just a little annoying. Dan encouraged me to try out running in all of my workout shoes so I began running in all of them, and hoped that this would help with the blister situation. Yeah. No help. During one run my feet either swelled a whole lot, or the shoes just didn't fit right, and for the last half of the run my feet were tingly and numb. During another run, to mitigate the issue of tingly feet, I loosened the shoelaces, but that only resulted in my heels coming out of the shoes during the run. It was then suggested to tie up my shoelaces to one of the back holes, my heels were fine, but then my toes, oh my toes. I ended up with blisters between my big toe and then the next toe. I had some anti chafe cream so I rubbed that on my toes for the next run. Again, no help. This time I ended up with a huge blood blister on one toe and little blisters on the tops of all the other little toes. What a huge pain and a hard time to walk afterwards. That pair of shoes found its way to the Goodwill pile.
After all this drama with my feet and several recommendations to check out the Running Center to get fitted for correct running shoes, Dan and I checked it out today. I was totally not prepared for it, but it was definitely a worthwhile experience. I was rocking a skirt and dress shoes from work, but they worked with me anyways. They began by fitting me in the correct size shoes and then watching me run. The first issue was the size 9s I have been wearing were too small. No wonder I have been getting blisters on my toes. After getting the correct size they then had us run. Yes I ran through the store in my skirt from work. They were actually impressed with our mid-foot running. They then had us try on several pairs of shoes to see what fit and what didn't. After trying on several pairs Dan found a pair he liked and I opted to take two. Since I haven't done much running before this I wanted to try two different pairs to see which type of shoe would ultimately be the best fit for my feet. I was shocked to walk out with a pair of 9.5s and 10s...yes you read that right...size 10! The two pairs fit my wide foot and narrow heel and I am excited to see how they affect my runs! Hopefully no more blood blisters, or any blisters for that matter.
After all this drama with my feet and several recommendations to check out the Running Center to get fitted for correct running shoes, Dan and I checked it out today. I was totally not prepared for it, but it was definitely a worthwhile experience. I was rocking a skirt and dress shoes from work, but they worked with me anyways. They began by fitting me in the correct size shoes and then watching me run. The first issue was the size 9s I have been wearing were too small. No wonder I have been getting blisters on my toes. After getting the correct size they then had us run. Yes I ran through the store in my skirt from work. They were actually impressed with our mid-foot running. They then had us try on several pairs of shoes to see what fit and what didn't. After trying on several pairs Dan found a pair he liked and I opted to take two. Since I haven't done much running before this I wanted to try two different pairs to see which type of shoe would ultimately be the best fit for my feet. I was shocked to walk out with a pair of 9.5s and 10s...yes you read that right...size 10! The two pairs fit my wide foot and narrow heel and I am excited to see how they affect my runs! Hopefully no more blood blisters, or any blisters for that matter.
Birthday Celebration!
Dan and I really love to travel, even if it is just a local getaway. For my birthday this year he suggested that we take a little trip up to Temecula and stay at our favorite winery, South Coast Winery. Last year for our anniversary we found a groupon for a two night stay in their villas and have been in love with the place ever since. South Coast is probably the largest winery in Temecula, as well as the most commercial. For those reasons I didn't want to like it and didn't want to become a wine club member there, but they won us over with their awesome wines and ambiance. Since they are so big they have a wide selection of both reds and whites as well as my favorite, their sweet wines. We absolutely love their wine and it doesn't hurt that they are a little heavy handed with their tastings!
So we booked a trip to stay at South Coast, but this time we stayed in their new hotel. Since it was for a birthday getaway, Dan also suggested that we do something special like getting massages. We have become hooked on massages so I always enjoy the chance to get one. They have hot stone massages there so we decided to get one of those. While we both enjoyed the relaxing nature of the massage, it wasn't as deep and therapeutic as the ones we get at Massage Envy. It was still fun to try something new. After the massages we enjoyed some chocolate covered strawberries and one of our favorite wines: Romanza!
The next day we spent at the wine club pick up party. Every three months when there is a new release of wines they have a party to celebrate the event. This one just happened to coincide with my birthday - yay me! I finally talked my Mom into joining us for some wine tasting, and she finally took us up on it, so my Mom and Bill joined us. We had an afternoon of showing them around the resort, tasting lots of wine, eating yummy hamburgers and enjoying the Caribbean music in the background. We almost convinced them to join the wine club too. I think we will have them by next time! But, we did turn them onto some of our favorites and they have since purchased some of the South Coast Wine (they sell it at Sprouts...check it out!). We then capped the night off with dinner at the restaurant on site, Villa Rose. They never disappoint! We even got some cheesecake to celebrate my birthday!
All in all I had a great celebration with my wonderful husband. He did such a great job suggesting and planning it. I can't wait for out next getaway!
So we booked a trip to stay at South Coast, but this time we stayed in their new hotel. Since it was for a birthday getaway, Dan also suggested that we do something special like getting massages. We have become hooked on massages so I always enjoy the chance to get one. They have hot stone massages there so we decided to get one of those. While we both enjoyed the relaxing nature of the massage, it wasn't as deep and therapeutic as the ones we get at Massage Envy. It was still fun to try something new. After the massages we enjoyed some chocolate covered strawberries and one of our favorite wines: Romanza!
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| Relaxing prior our Hot Stone Massages! |
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| A nice glass of Romanza to top off the massage. |
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| Our plate of strawberries. They were so tempting that I forgot to take a picture before eating them. |
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| The view from our room. |
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| More of the view from our room. |
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| And more of the view from our room. |
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| In our room before Mom and Bill arrived. |
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| Mom and Bill wine tasting. |
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| Dan walking to dinner. |
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| I have no idea what he is doing...but it is pretty funny! |
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| At the Villa Rose Restaurant. |
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| And we are done...our weekend is over. |
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Training Update
We are now a few weeks into training for our upcoming 5k and we are feeling pretty good about it. We are doing most of it together and are enjoying the time that we get to spend together while doing it. Here is a glimpse of what our schedule looks like.
Monday: Training with our fabulous trainer, Dani. I have been working with her for about a year and a half and Dan has recently joined us. I really enjoy having him there with me, especially when I can kick his butt!
Tuesday: This is our midweek run day. We are slowing increasing each week to make 3 miles for our 5k in a month. Dan has also researched training programs, which will tell us how much we are going to run each week in preparation for the race.
Wednesday: Rest.
Thursday: Workout of our choosing. Dan will probably be doing a long bike ride or an Insanity video and I will be doing Pilates. The studio I have been going to has a stretch based class on Thursdays and it is wonderful!
Friday: Swim Day! I am so glad to have this in our routine! I grew up swimming and even taught swim lessons in high school, so it is one of my most favorite things to do. Dan has not been so confident about it, but has really stepped up and is doing great. When we did our first swim a few weeks ago after not swimming for a few years it was so AMAZING!
Saturday: This will be our long run day. Right now the runs will be the same length as the Tuesday runs, but as we work towards the marathon, the Saturday distances will increase.
Sunday: Rest or fun exercise day. This could be a run or bike ride on the beach or a hike through Daley Ranch.
We are really enjoying our training so far, and loving doing it together. This is all to reach the goal of running the Grape Day 5k on September 7th. We would love to have people join us for the race! So sign up today before the cost goes up in August!
Monday: Training with our fabulous trainer, Dani. I have been working with her for about a year and a half and Dan has recently joined us. I really enjoy having him there with me, especially when I can kick his butt!
Tuesday: This is our midweek run day. We are slowing increasing each week to make 3 miles for our 5k in a month. Dan has also researched training programs, which will tell us how much we are going to run each week in preparation for the race.
Wednesday: Rest.
Thursday: Workout of our choosing. Dan will probably be doing a long bike ride or an Insanity video and I will be doing Pilates. The studio I have been going to has a stretch based class on Thursdays and it is wonderful!
Friday: Swim Day! I am so glad to have this in our routine! I grew up swimming and even taught swim lessons in high school, so it is one of my most favorite things to do. Dan has not been so confident about it, but has really stepped up and is doing great. When we did our first swim a few weeks ago after not swimming for a few years it was so AMAZING!
Saturday: This will be our long run day. Right now the runs will be the same length as the Tuesday runs, but as we work towards the marathon, the Saturday distances will increase.
Sunday: Rest or fun exercise day. This could be a run or bike ride on the beach or a hike through Daley Ranch.
We are really enjoying our training so far, and loving doing it together. This is all to reach the goal of running the Grape Day 5k on September 7th. We would love to have people join us for the race! So sign up today before the cost goes up in August!
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Humbled by the 5k
Not even 24 hours after I wrote the blog about our Bucket List did Dan begin surfing the internet for 5ks as well as training programs. We decided that we would give the Grape Day 5k a try as it is local and the race is in September, which would give us enough time to prepare. Dan then got extremely gung-ho and found several more races for us to tackle. No, not other 5ks, that would be too easy! He found a 10k on Thanksgiving, a 15k in January, a half marathon in March and then the ultimate goal of completing the Rock and Roll Marathon in San Diego on May 31, 2014. While we have signed up for the 5k, we are going to wait at least a few weeks to see how running works for us, but we are definitely planning to sign up! If you would like to join us for any of the races, please do!
As I mentioned, in addition to signing us up for the 5k, Dan found us a training program for the run (he also found training programs for the other runs as well). Each week you are to run a specified distance three times a week, another three times a week you can run, rest, or do some other exercise, and the the final day of the week you rest. The specific program he found has us start by running 1.5 miles 3 days a week, and then increasing a quarter mile each week for 8 weeks until you are running 3 miles and then you are good to go for the race.
We both haven't run in quite some time, so needless to say I was a little nervous. So we decided to do a trial day this past Sunday where we would give it our best to run 1.5 miles without stopping. Dan wanted to push it and try and push it and run at a pace of 6.5 miles an hour or FASTER. I thought he was crazy and so he agreed we could run at a pace of 6 miles per hour. I was so nervous that I would not be able to make the 1.5 miles since the last time we ran I had to stop (mind you it was 1.5 miles up hill, but that is neither here nor there). However, I felt like I rocked it. My heart rate monitor didn't ever reach the point where it was beeping (when I reach my max heart rate), and I felt totally in control the entire time. In fact, I felt like I could run longer! I was so proud of myself and on cloud nine.
Monday we saw our trainer for our usual butt kicking session, and I still felt great. For our next 1.5 mile we decided to go run at the Strand, which is a road right next to the beach. This past Saturday when we did our bike ride to the beach, Dan measured .75 miles on the Strand, so we would know where the half way point was for our 1.5 mile run. This run was much different. While my heart rate monitor didn't ever beep, I was wiped out! My calves were beyond sore. My entire body was drained! We went home and took a short nap. I needed it because I had signed up for a Pilates class later that night. By the end of the night my calves were on fire and spirits were down. I felt if I couldn't run 1.5 miles without my legs killing me how could I do a 5k, or 26.2? Dan was very encouraging. He said we could push our run days around if we needed to and he would not let me give up!
Our next run is planned for tomorrow. Wish us luck!
As I mentioned, in addition to signing us up for the 5k, Dan found us a training program for the run (he also found training programs for the other runs as well). Each week you are to run a specified distance three times a week, another three times a week you can run, rest, or do some other exercise, and the the final day of the week you rest. The specific program he found has us start by running 1.5 miles 3 days a week, and then increasing a quarter mile each week for 8 weeks until you are running 3 miles and then you are good to go for the race.
We both haven't run in quite some time, so needless to say I was a little nervous. So we decided to do a trial day this past Sunday where we would give it our best to run 1.5 miles without stopping. Dan wanted to push it and try and push it and run at a pace of 6.5 miles an hour or FASTER. I thought he was crazy and so he agreed we could run at a pace of 6 miles per hour. I was so nervous that I would not be able to make the 1.5 miles since the last time we ran I had to stop (mind you it was 1.5 miles up hill, but that is neither here nor there). However, I felt like I rocked it. My heart rate monitor didn't ever reach the point where it was beeping (when I reach my max heart rate), and I felt totally in control the entire time. In fact, I felt like I could run longer! I was so proud of myself and on cloud nine.
Monday we saw our trainer for our usual butt kicking session, and I still felt great. For our next 1.5 mile we decided to go run at the Strand, which is a road right next to the beach. This past Saturday when we did our bike ride to the beach, Dan measured .75 miles on the Strand, so we would know where the half way point was for our 1.5 mile run. This run was much different. While my heart rate monitor didn't ever beep, I was wiped out! My calves were beyond sore. My entire body was drained! We went home and took a short nap. I needed it because I had signed up for a Pilates class later that night. By the end of the night my calves were on fire and spirits were down. I felt if I couldn't run 1.5 miles without my legs killing me how could I do a 5k, or 26.2? Dan was very encouraging. He said we could push our run days around if we needed to and he would not let me give up!
Our next run is planned for tomorrow. Wish us luck!
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
East Coast Trip
Shortly after school ended we packed our bags and headed to Connecticut to visit our dear friends Alex and Hetti. We began with a dinner in Boston with my sister who recently moved there, her boyfriend and my Mom who was visiting them.
The first week we were quite active with hiking a hill called Sleeping Giant several times (one day we did it twice!). Dan and Alex even did it again the first weekend while Hetti and I had a girls day with yoga and a picnic int he park.
We Did do some wine tasting!
We also spent 2 nights in Boston. The first night the 4 of us wandered around the downtown area seeing sights such as Quincy Market and then concluded our evening with Italian food int he North End. The full day that we were there Dan and Alex drove to New Hampshire to hike Mt. Washington; the tallest mountain in New England. After sleeping in, Hetti and I took several modes of public transportation and found our way to downtown Boston. There we spent the day eating, doing the Duck tour, and walking the Freedom trail. Our trip in Boston concluded the next day with a tour of the Sam Adams Brewery.
The final few days of our trip we spent relaxing with a few outings. Dan Discovered Glee shortly before the trip, so a lot of our down time was spent watching that. We also found out that the Connecticut river valley was once inhabited by dinosaurs and there is a State Park there where tracks were discovered in the 1960's. We spent a few afternoons there, a day at Hammonasset Beach...boy was it hot and sunny!
The first week we were quite active with hiking a hill called Sleeping Giant several times (one day we did it twice!). Dan and Alex even did it again the first weekend while Hetti and I had a girls day with yoga and a picnic int he park.
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| Hetti and I after Yoga |
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| The view of part of Sleeping Giant. |
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| At the top of Sleeping Giant |
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| Getting ready to taste at Paradise Hills Winery |
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| Out front at Arrigoni Winery |
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| Ready for our Journey to begin |
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| Self Explanatory |
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| Dan heading into one of the bars we visited that night |
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| About to enter the north end |
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| Can you tell I am excited for the Duck tour? |
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| At the start of the Freedom trail |
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| On your mark, get set go! Freedom trail here we come! |
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| The donkey of the Republican Party |
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| The USS Constitution. The clouds make for a perfectly spooky picture! |
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| The TD Garden, the final night of the Stanley Cup |
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| Dan examining the clarity of his Boston Lager. I did not enjoy the beer, |
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| Alex the ever so generous pour master. |
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| Dan so excited to touch the skink! |
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| A cutting from a maple tree. |
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| Real live dino tracks! |
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| At the beach! |
After our two week trip back east we came home just in time to get an oil change, go to the Del Mar Fair and re-pack our bags to head to Arizona.
We began by visiting my best friend April and her family at their new home in Maricopa. We spent 4th of July with them and watched the fire works from the back yard. The next leg of our Arizona journey took us to Phoenix area to visit one of my college roommates (Lesly) and her boyfriend Dan. Finally, we drove up to Kingman to visit with all of Dan's family that lives there. While I had my camera with me the entire trip...I did not take a single picture. Boo!
Baby Bucket List
A few weeks ago after lamenting to my college girlfriends
about our inability to get pregnant, a friend suggested creating a “Baby Bucket
List” of sorts to draw our attention away from trying to conceive and towards
enjoying every moment of life that God has given us. While I must admit that
Dan has been trying to get me to focus more on “living” rather than planning for
baby, the thought of making a list with things to check off was something I
could grab onto. So I did. That night I went home and began to research what
should go on our list. The list is a work in progress, but here is what we have
so far:
- Travel
a. International
-Pyramids in Egypt
-Shakespeare in London
-Ireland
-Coast of Croatia
-Jamaica
-Our friends' vacation spot in Mexico
b. Domestic
-Drive across country
-Mt. Rushmore
-New Orleans
-Alaskan Cruise
-Vegas...again - Camping at the beach
- Run a 5k, then half and then full marathon
- Fly first class
- Stay for a few nights at the Hotel Del
- Cooking class together
- Trash the dress photo shoot
- Boxing/self defense class
- Save 6 months of expenses
- Rent a limo and go on a wine tour
- Better our gardening skills
If you have any ideas of things that we should add…let us
know! We will keep you posted on our progress and amendments we make to the
list.
Welcome!
Welcome to our Blog! This blog will have three main
components:
- Musings on what we have learned in our marriage
- Updates on our Baby Bucket list completion
- Random updates on how life is treating us at the moment
Hope you enjoy reading about our journey!
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